Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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