that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
