I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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