I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
