Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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