Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
