May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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