On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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