My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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