Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
