I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
