why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
