I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
