I like to think it a success when the cops are called
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
