i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
