Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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