Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
