I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize