I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
