I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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