I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
