as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
