he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize