lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize