Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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