he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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