Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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I need a hobby that isn't dick related
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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