i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
