so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize