This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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