I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
