Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
