i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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