just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
