Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I party with great urgency now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
