I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
