while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
