I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
