I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
