I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wear drunk well.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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