you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
