Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Randomize
