I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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