im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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