He disabled his match.com account in front of me
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize