we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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