Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
