we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
