we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
