I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
