Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
