Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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