i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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