do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
