My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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