I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
