What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
