didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
