can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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