This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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