OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
