I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
